The Audition.

November 26, 2001

Time Finished: 12:00 A.M.

TITLE: THE AUDITION (TRUE STORY)

NOTE: I’VE WRITTEN THIS ONE ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO ON A PIECE OF PAPER. I JUST FOUND THIS WHEN I TRIED TO CLEAN MY OWN BEDROOM JUST THIS MORNING. I JUST WANT TO SHARE THIS PIECE TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO IS EXPERIENCING DILEMMAS AT THIS POINT RIGHT NOW. I HOPE THAT THIS PIECE WILL BE YOUR INSPIRATION TO LIFT YOUR SPIRITS UP.

LANGUAGES: NORTH AMERICAN ENGLISH

It makes me feel uncomfortable when other people praised with “these people” with talents. Although, I have a talent that “HE” gave me, I just really don’t know what to do. In those days, I joined a choir in The Philippines. I wondered how to improve myself. I tried to train myself for singing lessons, but it wasn’t enough. When my former choir members were practicing, I sang very loudly. It was very unfair for some of my choir members when they were singing. They did the same thing. But, my maestro had not reacted. They were always blamed me even though I wasn’t around during practice.  The worst experience that happened to me was I auditioned for one of the most famous composers in The Philippines (Ryan Cayabyab). My father wanted me to audition. So, I tried. During the audition, I saw people who wanted to become singers. They wore nice make-ups, fashionable clothes and so on. For me, I was very simple. I only wore jeans and a t-shirt. I think that this composer was very strict in choosing his “candidates” for becoming the famous singer. Of course, I wasn’t the one who became that. During the audition, I was very nervous. That was the reason that I did not succeed. From that day, I began to lose my own confidence, beliefs and dreams. People were laughing at me on their backs and I was very sensitive to my personal emotions. I knew some of my friends didn’t support me – as well. I composed many songs and poems. The only reason I wrote them was because of my personal emotions since childhood until the person I am now. I’ve always blamed myself for not being the perfect human individual. For instance, people called me weird, cross-eyed and unattractive. Nobody will ever fall in love with me seriously. Because of my hatred and anger at those times, I began to write songs and poems. “Just wait and see…” These are the words that come to my own mind to prove them that I’m not a weak person as they are. At the end, they will pay their own price. I will never forget the day will come.